Working at Home

There are many before me who have attempted to find the balance between taking care of a family while doing your job at home.  In theory, this is a wonderful idea.  On the one hand, you do not have to pay the enormous price tag attached to quality childcare.  You are able to be around to enjoy those priceless moments like first steps and see all of the adorable things children do without hearing about them second-hand from your spouse.  I have done both and I definitely prefer the later.  However, finding the equilibrium between the two is nothing less than a daily tightrope walk.

For the parent who works at home, the mantra is family first.  The needs of the children are first and foremost, pushing your work to the back burner.  Once those are taken care of it would seem to reason that it is time to attend to your work.  However, the responsibilities of parenting are twenty-four seven which means work gets squeezed in whenever you can.

I've read that Mary Higgins Clark used to wake up at an ungodly hour to write her short stories before her children needed to get up for school.  A wonderful idea.  That is how I manage to work running and yoga into my day.   So that is already taken.  Nap time is the perfect opportunity especially when the older ones are at school.  This plan runs pretty smoothly until school lets out for summer. Bedtime is the next uninterrupted block of time. 

When kids are settled down for the night, it's generally 'me' time for the parents.  Though if you are already getting up early, going to sleep late is not always a fantastic idea since you don't want to be a complete grump the next morning and let's not forget your other half.  Couples need quality moments too if you want to keep your relationship in tact.

This is where the tightrope walk comes into play.  Where is the balance?  What do you sacrifice because you want to write?  You don't want to scrimp on your time with your children or your spouse and there are household chores which need to be done.  If you don't attend to those, you'll end up living in one of those nightmare houses you see on reality shows and no one wants that.

I thought a helpful solution would be a laptop.  I could do my writing while waiting for my children at their various activities.  Again a good idea in theory or one which probably works better when your kids are older.  Mine are not.  If I work while the older ones are at practice, what is the little one doing?  She's confined to her carriage.  Not the best choice since she needs exercise too.  And then there's the guilt that inevitably comes when the middle one runs up and wants to know if I saw the awesome goal he scored.

Then, there's always trying to write when the children are awake and hopefully occupied inside or outside of the house.  Anyone who has ever tried to have a telephone conversation when children are around knows how well that goes.  Hopefully, you can get a sentence or two written before someone starts crying or an argument breaks out.

I've learned since I became serious about being a writer that there aren't any easy answers to this age-old dilemma.  It's one which many face and what works for one may not work for another.  I suppose the answer lies within yourself and with experimentation you will eventually find the balance you seek, at least in theory.  I'm still working on mine.